The blank page is very intimidating. The cursor sitting there, blinking at you, waiting, waiting, waiting. What are you going to write? How will you fill the blank space? It’s a daunting task. Do you want to be profound, humorous, prolific, entertain, make a statement? What do you want to say? What will people think? What will they say? Will anyone care? The blank page hold all of these questions but no answers. You will not have the answers until you write. And so it is with some anxiety and trepidation that I dive into the world of blogging.
Part of me wonders if my story is worth telling and an even bigger part of me wonders if my story is worth hearing. I suppose it doesn’t really matter but you can’t expose yourself to the world without having those thoughts. Making the decision to write came easily. Making the decision to write a blog was a little more difficult.
I am Mary. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. Not one of these roles is any greater or more important than the next. I try and give to all those whom I love and cherish. Some days I wear all hats, others just a few, yet all of these facets of my life make up who I am. There is another part of who I am that I failed to mention. I am a spoonie. That is a hat that is permanently affixed on my head on which all the others must balance.
What is a spoonie?
A spoonie is a term that refers to someone who lives with a chronic or invisible illness. The term was coined by Christine Miserandino of the website butyoudontlooksick.com and you can find her original post on the spoon theory here. The specific diagnosis really doesn’t matter except that it is generally something that isn’t physically noticeable, at least to the naked eye or the uninformed. A spoonie is someone who doesn’t look sick but who has to fight every day to lead a normal life. The basic premise of the Spoon Theory is that each one of us has a certain number of spoons to use in a day. Every activity requires any number of spoons to complete. Everything from getting out of bed, to showering, to making lunch, to eating, to driving requires spoons. If you run out of spoons then that’s it. You’re done for the day. You can always borrow spoons from the next day but then you won’t have enough tomorrow. What if you get a cold, or a virus? You have to make sure you have enough spoons to fight those battles as well.
How many hats do you wear in your daily life? We all have many things to balance and juggle and often feel as though we are being pulled in many different directions. No one person’s battle is any more important than the ones of the person beside them. What is important is that we each recognize the other. I am writing not because what I have to live with makes me better than others but because it makes me different and won’t the world just be a little bit better if we were well educated about and respected all of the things that make us different?
“We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.” -Anne Frank