Those who know me know my love for the hit 90s sitcom FRIENDS. I can recite almost any, ok probably all, of the episodes by heart and can relate many life moments to something that happened to one of the characters. My high school bestie and I watched the entire series religiously and after we went off to college had many phone calls at 8:31pm on Thursday nights to rehash the new episodes. I have many fond memories tied to the series and can remember exactly where I was in life when milestone moments happened to those six New Yorkers. The series finale was the end of an era! So please, bear with me a moment, while I take you on a trip down memory lane.
Remember the episode where Phoebe and Mike breakup? It’s season nine episode seventeen The One With The Memorial Service 😊 In that episode, after breaking up with her boyfriend, Phoebe enters the coffee house and sits down and tells Monica and Chandler that usually when she’s sad she writes a song about it but there is nothing that rhymes with, and then she makes this horribly strained, sad, groaning noise. That! Right there! That is how I’m feeling today.
(OK, I realize that was a bit of a stretch but it is the only thing I could come up with.)
Anywho, today I want to crawl into a hole and die. Ok, I don’t really mean die so all you mandated reporters out there can cool your jets. I’m exaggerating the whole wanting to die part but I’m reaching the end of my rope. And as a spoonie (not to mention a mother and former teacher) I have a pretty long rope for patience.
The unfortunate thing is that there really isn’t anything I can do for relief unless I want to go to the Emergency Room. Have you ever gone to the ER? Have you ever gone to the ER as a person with an invisible illness? It’s usually not a positive experience. My last ER visit and subsequent hospitalization was in March of this year and was by far the most unpleasant stay I’ve had.
I felt like no one believed me. Doctors and specialists, no one took me seriously. I could not get in touch with my GI doctor and was only able to see the on call physician and PA from his office. It was a terrible feeling that I wasn’t supported so I asked to be discharged and I went home. It was awful.
Tomorrow I will call my doctor and see what he recommends but for now I will continue to cower in the fetal position and try not to lose my mind.
- Husby (I know he’s on the list a lot but he’s pretty important) Today he took BooBoo out all day so I could rest. I missed them both like crazy and wish we could spend our weekends together but for right now, it is what it is.
- Old musicals like Hello Dolly and Singing in the Rain, these are my comfort movies when I’m not feeling well. They really help.
- My Soul Sister. She’s the only one who truly gets how horrible this disease is and today she made me laugh until I cried. Thanks sistah 😉
A random act of kindness was not easy to accomplish since I didn’t leave the house but I did reach out via text to a friend going though a tough time. I hope it helped brighten her day.
Today I meditated quietly on my own. It was much easier to do this time and I didn’t have to spend as much time trying to quiet my mind as the last time. I don’t know if I did a whole 5 minutes or not but I don’t think the quantity of time is as important as the quality.
So, that’s all I can get through for now. Please pray that my doctor has some amazingly fabulous idea tomorrow to make this all better.